Being fresh-off-the-boat studying in New York after six months, I became sick emotionally and mentally. It all started with my departure from Brazil to attend an exchange program in the US. At that time, I did not speak English even though there are some similarities with Portuguese. Just to let you get a glimpse of my English level, I could not understand the meaning of the most juvenile greeting, “What’s up!” The first time someone greeted me with that expression, I spent a reasonable amount of time figuring out what was over my head. Due to my language barrier, I did not have a chance to make friends with English-speaking students. But one thing that I was 100% sure of is that I had to learn English (a mandatory tool to build my success in this new world).
For the first time in my life, I got the chance to live in a foreign country by myself. So as the day to say my farewell to my family in Brazil got closer and closer, I started getting intimidated. In a matter of minutes, my dad, who had accompanied me to settle in New Y, had left me and gone back to Brazil where my whole family lived and worked. It was my first time leaping this far from my comfort zone into a completely new, and unfamiliar environment. What would I do without my dad here? Laundry, shopping, cooking — everything had to be done by myself. I would be responsible for not just myself, but also for my family’s future. For the first time in my life, I felt that cumbersome burden deep in my heart.
In my freshmen year, I was devoted to my language learning. My objective was to be proficient in English in all aspects: Speaking, reading, writing and listening. I reached a time when sacrificed my health and sleep to keep up with the homework overload. I will never forget that harsh dreary winter with no companionship of anywho. For the first time, I felt homesick. Initially, I felt something was missing that belonged to me. No friends, no family members close by, a lack of clarity for the future, and no help at all. I just knew I needed to adapt to this new world. Additionally, the guilt of resting instead of writing my late biology essay just did not let me sleep in peace.
There were also crazy stories like when I got scanned through the phone because I was a naïve innocent kid not knowing the danger of society. Once I missed the bus playing a phone game called “Brawl Star” and I had to run to school because I was late. Story of me going to another borough alone to work on a vegetarian restaurant in lower Brooklyn.
My second year of high school was transitioning and thriving. Due to the pandemic, I have to move from Queen to Staten Island where my aunt lived, and go to school there. Most people would highlight their struggles during the quarantine, but in my case, I thrived. I honed my English skills by mentoring my cousins and helping them with homework.
The goal for this year was to get to the top 5 percent of my school. Clubs, community service, academic and leadership programs, blogs, etc. were all included in my plan. And guess what? I was able to achieve all those. I have more than 500 volunteering hours. I got into the NYC Youth Advisory program. I also hosted my English fellowship for my Brazilian peers and middle schoolers during the school year.
Junior year is both life-changing and reflective. After more than a year in quarantine, I actually got to go to the physical school and make friends. I got to experience the authentic American high school style with more than 3500 students in my school. This year I was accepted into TKS, NYCYLC, Civics Unplugged, and YPC. This seems like a brag sheet lol.
For this critical year, the intention was to be part of impactful organizations and projects that could prepare me not only for college but for life. If I would say one of the most valuable lessons that I learned through these years is that “if you failed to plan, you planned to fail.” Having an intention of finding that WHY for whatever you do is even more important than hard work. Hard work does not mean success. You could be really hardworking but work on the wrong thing. Now having a crystal clear north star and mastering your WHY to move you faster and further.
All these challenges led me to find my role model. I figured out that my ideal role model would be a very charismatic activist who fights for unfair social issues for the world. Many people correlate success with prosperity and fame. For me Success = Failure + Perseverance + Growth. With this success model mindset, I would love to explore multiple realms in our society. Throughout my lifetime, I want to experience people’s lives in different settings and circumstances. I figured out that being an actor is perfect to attain my ideal role model but then I realized that I also want to experience an active lifestyle. There are so many interests that I do not know if it is possible to experience them all. As Leonardo Da Vinci did, I want to master not just one realm but various. Then merging what I had learned into a tangible project.
